Do you have too much time on your hands? You can fix that by becoming a cyclist.
Tired of your friends saying that you consistently look like you are hungry – in cycling, this will be rewarded & encouraged. Even if it is with comments like “You must be riding a lot miles”, or “are you doing secret training?”
Ever feel like you look like Tyrannosaurus Rex? This too will be awarded and encouraged in cycling.
Have too much money – then you too can show up to the local group ride with the latest $10,000 bike, Pro cycling uniforms, deep dish carbon wheels. But remember, it isn’t how you are riding, but how you look while out cycling. For even though you may not be the most popular guy in the peleton, you will be seen as a Pro cyclist by anyone that dares to drive a car/truck – and you will live for that rare occasion that one of these people will realize you are lost and will point out the direction of France. Because they will realize you would belong right amongst the Pro racers in the world at the only bike race there is, the Tour.
Trouble finding a girlfriend, then cycling will not only not help, it will also discourage you to walk around without a shirt or specific length shorts due to a wacky tan-line.
However, if you find a girl that also enjoys cycling you will be much better equipped to communicate with her more appropriately when she talks about how challenging it is to shave her legs.
Were you a pasty white kid in high school that got picked on because you didn’t quite fit in with the jocks, nor the nerds? Then if you excel in cycling you too will be able to have an attitude due to the national recognition you receive and no one will question your attitude and your snarky sense of humor will be in full glory.
This is just a little tongue-in-cheek comments to some folks that get a little too caught up in the hype and our little cycling community. Don’t forget why you started all this – because it is supposed to be fun, healthy, and bring people together.